The Common Application
by Mr. Invincible
Summary: After the end of the war with Gaea, Percy faces his next challenge in life: going to college. As he begins to fill out the applications to submit, he comes up with funny, whimsical, not serious, some slightly inappropriate ways to answer the questions. But hey, he's the Hero of Olympus. Who cares about college apps when you saved the world? One-shot. Read and review.


_**The Common Application**_

Percy looked at the computer screen in front of him despondently, not in the mood at all to fill out the extensive information required by the common app, but he had to do it otherwise he wouldn't hear the end of it from Annabeth or his mother. With a slight grin on his face, he cracked his knuckles. Time for the fun to begin.

_**First/given name: **_Perseus

_**Middle name: **_Alexander

_**Last/family/surname: **_Jackson

_**Suffix: **_Mr., Lord, Boss

_**Have you ever used any other names: **_Percy, Seaweed Brain, Kelp Head, Perce, Supreme Lord of the Bathroom, Prissy, Peter Johnson, Harry Potter, Logan Lerman, Sea Spawn, Fish Face, Extremely Attractively Handsome Sexy Green Eyed Beast

_**Sex: **_Every week.

_**Date of Birth: **_08/18/1993

_**Cellphone number: **_Don't believe in carrying cellphones.

_**Address:**_ Camp Half-Blood, Half-Blood Hill, Farm Road 3.141  
Long Island, New York 11954

_**Alternate mailing address: **_Mount Olympus, 600th Floor, Empire State Building, New York, NY

_**Religious Preferences:**_ Pagan, preferably Greek

_**Are you Hispanic or Latino:**_ Leo is.

_**Number of languages known (please list):**_ 3 (Dyslexic English, Ancient Greek, Latin swearwords)

_**Parents marital status:**_ Never married, never will be. Separated.

_**With whom do you make your primary home:**_ My big fat Greek Family

_**Do you have any children: **_…Not that I know of, unless Annabeth is holding back on me.

_**Parent 1 (please list occupation for the following 3): **_Poseidon…God of the Sea.

_**Parent 2: **_Sally Jackson…An author.

_**Sibling: **_Tyson…General of the Cyclopes army.

_**Education (please list all schools attended): **_

1. Yancy Academy (6th Grade)

2. Meriwether College Prep (7th Grade)

3. Goode High School (9th, 11th, 12th Grade)

4. Various elementary schools

_**Track record:**_ I don't do track…Oh, you mean my criminal record…

1. Blew up a school bus with a revolutionary canon. Got expelled.

2. Immersed 4th grade class into a pool of sharks in Marine world. Got expelled.

3. Blew up a fountain and vaporized my pre-algebra teacher. Expelled.

4. Blew up the St. Louis Arch. Became the subject of a national manhunt.

5. Set fire to school. Not welcomed back.

6. Killed a cheerleader during orientation and then blew up the school. Surprisingly, I got accepted.

7. Blew up a mountain.

8. May have destroyed New York City when the Titans attacked.

9. Let's move on shall we. *nervous chuckle*

_**Testing**__: _No thanks.

_**Activities you have participated in: **_

1. Horse racing

2. Really bad archery

3. Killing people…really bad people

4. Sword fighting

5. Killing my grandfather

6. Chariot racing

7. Being kidnapped by my aunt-from-hell-I-mean-heaven who then proceeded to wipe out my memories

8. Killing my second cousin

9. Saved my mom from hell

10. Whooping Ares' sorry ass

11. Saving Zeus' sorry ass

12. Cleaned up dung at a ranch

13. Talking to horses

14. Talking to fish

15. Talking to other sea life… I have no life.

16. What else… Oh I don't know, like saving the world maybe?

_**Essay Prompts (Choose one. Limit responses from 250-650 words):**_

_1. Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story._

I mean, being the son of the Greek god of the seas has no effect on my life whatsoever. It's just in the back not threatening to take over my life at all. Sure there was a prophecy that said I would destroy the start of western civilization but who gives? It's not like I got my memory erased, nearly died four times, and walked through hell literally. Psh, nah. Plus, it's really great having two really great paternal uncles who have no urge to kill me at all at any given moment. Not to mention my cousin/girlfriend's mom who loves me to pieces (literally). We have such a strong bond that we sit and talk over a cup of tea and mull over her daughter. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better, caring family. And yes, I am dating my cousin's daughter. No worries, incest is good as we have seen with Oedipus and Jocasta.

_2. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?_

People say that the Fates have already made up your future, and I personally have never experienced failure. It's not something one experiences when they are the hero of Olympus. Who the Hades am I kidding? I've failed a lot…Miserably. Like the time when Clarisse got to take the fleece back to camp. Or the time when Beckendorf died. *moment of silence* Mostly, I failed big time when I went crazy worried about this prophecy that didn't refer to me at all. But you know, time goes by and you end up with a new prophecy which involves memory loss. Overall, I've learned that life doesn't give a damn about you, but keeping persevering and work at it and you might succeed. Unless you're Apollo. Don't ever continue with poetry.

_3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?_

Have you seen my track record? Nothing prompted me to act. It just happens. I'm completely innocent. Sure I've burned down a few buildings and killed a few people, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong…Right? It wasn't intentional. I did challenge the Olympians this one time and told them to stop falling off the wagon and to pay more attention to their children. Zeus almost incinerated me. But man, it was cool, I'd make that decision again. I know how it feels to be ignored by my dad and wouldn't want anyone else to feel the same way. Oh I also turned down immortality for shits and giggles. Plus, I love seeing Zeus get mad. That look on his face was priceless.

_4. Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?_

This is a straightforward answer. Camp Half-Blood. It has been my home more or less for the last six years. It's a place where I feel like I belong filled with other dyslexic and ADHD kids. I get trained there for you know, saving the world a few times over. But seriously, most of the time, I end up running away from the place and ignoring the camp director's warnings. It's meaningful to me cause I met my girlfriend there…No? Not appropriate answer? Fine, it's where I made my first connection with my estranged father. It's that simple. It's also where my friends and family are. And we get to kill monsters. But in all honesty, it's my home and I never trade any place in the world for it. Except for maybe Hades. Have you seen it there? His interior decoration. Marvelous.

_5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from__ childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family._

Well…I'm still pretty child-like and wouldn't say I'm an adult yet. But if you want something gung-ho, I guess the time my father claimed me in front of the other campers at Camp Half-Blood. There was a green spinning trident above my head. It marked a transition from being a pathetic loser in the Hermes cabin to being an even more pathetic loner loser in the Poseidon cabin. At first, I thought it was all a joke, but once I got to know those around me, they really began to feel like the family I never had. Even when we get competitive and decided to maim each other for fun… Cause YOLO, right?

P.S. I know none of these are in the word limit, but I did all of them, that counts for something, right?

P.P.S I'm not insane, just mildly deranged.

_**End Common Application. If you click the submit button, your document will be submitted directly to the colleges of your choice. Thank you for submitting your application via our online facility.**_

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**Shout-out to those who review in my next story. Might continue this with other characters if there is interest. **


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